The Declasse Of 1990: The Sports Illustrated Football Phone

“Hi Mom, I’m calling you on a football! No, I haven’t been mixing Dad’s klonopin with booze again.”

It’s a phone in the shape of a football! Free with your subscription to Sports Illustrated (only 99 cents an issue for 55 weeks).

Circa 1990 this phone has approximately no redeeming characteristics other than it’s so campy and the TV commercial promoting it was so craptastically bad that it’s amazing any of them made it into society.

Our example works. Works is defined as you can hear some sort of speech-like noise when listening and you can transmit noise to another phone. Working includes making the most annoying chirping “ringing” noise ever.  It’s on the level of eye shattering and teeth grinding annoying.  When Manuel Noriega was besieged they should have had access to these.  Forget playing rock and roll, they should have played the commercial and called to negotiate on the football phone.

The coup de grâce is the pulse dialing. This phone was so cheaply made that you don’t even have the option of choosing  between pulse and tone types. Remember the good old days of waiting three minutes just for all the numbers to get to the telephone exchange in the building next door?

You could walk there faster (unless you’re wearing the SI Sneaker phone that is).

We have the manual but were missing the “kicking tee” holder/stand (bummer dude).

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