This is the easy way to tell what is still available. Just click on the link below. Otherwise, look at the bottom of the post. If the item is sold it will read GONE! SOLD!
ADDRESS: The Estate Store of the Community Warehouse 3969 NE MLK Jr. Blvd. Portland, Oregon 97212
The Estate Store
Hours: Open 10am to 4pm Thursday through Monday. Closed Tuesday & Wednesday
Garage Sale
Hours: Open 10am to 4pm Thursday through Monday. Closed Tuesday & Wednesday
PHONE: 503-445-1449.
E-MAIL: Ed at communitywarehouse dot org
West Side Donation Center: Open Tuesday-Saturday, from 11:00 am – 4:00 p.m. at 8745 SW Canyon Lane, Portland (off Canyon Road in the West Slope area).
Not in Portland but want an item? We can ship most things to most places most of the time. Shipping costs for furniture are often prohibitvely expensive! If you still think you want it, contact Ed to see if we can ship what you want where you want and how much it will cost you.
In the Portland Metro area and wondering if an item is still available in the store? Contact Ed.
Here at the House-Of-Ugly we have standards. Admittedly they’re kind of loose standards since we’re not terribly fond of rules. The practical result is someplace there’s a point where ugly is too ugly, where something isn’t cool even if aesthetically questionable.
Welcome to the border.
I can’t decide which side of that line between ugly/cool and ugly/ugly this lies on. It’s best if you do.
This lamp features an old handbag with some lovely accoutrements attached. It still works OK and stands about 19 inches tall.
My understanding is that this was a white elephant gift at a long ago holiday party. It’s unclear to me how it all went down but apparently there was some sort of big conflict over this lamp that nearly resulted in a fist fight. The ‘proud’ owner of the lamp at the end of the night hasn’t been to a white elephant exchange since and I think that was some 20 years ago.
Now’s your chance to light a dark corner, own a spectacular piece of vernacular assemblage art and/or sew discord amongst your peers.
Or rather who since it’s a on owl made out of little shells, and carefully cut bits of shell, and two googlie eyes; all glued to a piece of Styrofoam. Isn’t that clever?
With this the documented Estate Store collection of birds made out of molluscs officially doubles. Once upon a time we had the shell chicken, now this. This represents a major evolutionary step however, the shell chicken was just a bunch of little shells glued together but this has a cape made of shells that have been specifically cut for the job. That must have drove production costs way up. . .
Regardless, if you’re a collector of birds made of marine items, oddities, owls, grotesqueness, or are looking out for a good April Fool’s gag gift then you might want to give us a call.
Rupert knew he was special, not just because his mother told his so, but because the light of the world emanated from his hind-end.
Approximately 20 inches tall by 14 inches wide and features a plastic giraffe 3/4 mounted on a brushed copper plate with savannah scene. The photo doesn’t do it justice as it’s not quite as red as the picture above, yet not as pale as the picture below and the strange effect of the light is best viewed in person.
Old King Coal was a merry old soul And a merry old soul was he; He called for his pipe, and he called for his bowl And he called for his miners three. But Omni Exploration Breathed hell fire and damnation; And drilled a well straight to hell; With a steely goad struck the mother lode, Drilling for dollars in the land of the free. Every driller he had a drill, And a very fine drill had he; Oh there’s none cooked so well, burnt in hell As Old King Coal and Omni’s miners three.
Set of six tumblers featuring the corporate logo and landscape vision of Omni Exploration. The perfect gift for the petro-capitalist in your life, your rich uncle or a gag gift for your favorite tree hugger.
They’re still in the original shipping box from November 1977 and include a Seasons Greetings card indicating that these were probably stockholder gifts.
He’s not wearing pants. . . .wait, that’s not right.
Let’s try it again.
A Bear Walks Into A Piano Bar.
He’s not wearing pants, but who’s going to counsel a bear with fashion advice?
That’s the nice thing about being a bear. No one is going to tell you that denim is passé, or that you shouldn’t spend a soggy winter day sleeping in.
Really though this is about the piano.
We don’t take pianos. They’re not really that useful for our clients and we know nothing about them. This one snuck in when the gatekeeper was asleep, so here it is and here we are looking to find it a new home.
It’s an Edward B. Healy labeled upright piano that was actually made by Gulbransen Pianos. We’ve been told that it was recently tuned and the musically inclined punk rockers who work in the warehouse think it is still pretty much in tune, but since it’s not a guitar they’re not totally sure.
I’ve got a rough idea of what I think an older piano that’s in good condition is worth but I’d like to hear some offers to see if it is in the ball park. Please email, call or stop in with offers and I’ll let you know if it is a winner.
And it’s playing both kinds of music, Country and Western. The Country Music Instant Fiddle plays a variety of classic country tunes by artists including Patsy Cline, Hank Williams, and Willie Nelson.
I believe the songs it plays include:
1. Hey, Good Lookin’
2. Crazy
3. All My Exes Live in Texas
4. Oh Susanna
5. Jambalaya
6. Beautiful Dreamer
7. Abilene
8. Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys
The duration of the notes seems to be linked to how fast you play. So, you could perform “Mamas…” as a dirge, or “Hey, Good Lookin’” as the next post-punk speed-metal hit.
it stands about 11 inches tall and works, although the volume level is not impressive. If your crafty it would be a good candidate for modification! Just add a microphone and an arena size speaker stack.
Suppose you’re looking for something for a relative we’ll call ‘Uncle George’.
George lives out of town and you won’t have to face him when he gets his present.
You’re also running out of time.
We’ve got your back.
Just get this inflatable fruitcake.
If you send it airmail it should get to Uncle George in Hoboken in plenty of time. Unless they notice that the return address city and zip code don’t match, in which case you’ll be sending next years present from Guantanamo.
Air mail, inflatable fruitcake, Hoboken, Guantanamo. Air mail, inflatable fruitcake, Hoboken, Guantanamo.
It’s like a mantra for modern America: Air mail, inflatable fruitcake, Hoboken, Guantanamo, Om.
Thank goodness the yule season only happens once a year. Otherwise we’d have to look at stuff like this all year long and I know I couldn’t take it without becoming a sociopathic elf.
This sweater is medium-sized and even has shoulder pads for that extra horrific boxy look that goes so well with the holidays.
These were made in the 1980′s to celebrate Portland and rain, which is kind of like issuing limited edition igloos and ice floes to the residents of Pt. Barrow.
Regardless, they seem to have had some popularity as we had another one nearly two years ago.
The one we had then playedSinging In The Rain and was issued by Nordstrom’s. One of this pair also plays that song but it was sold by Meier & Frank.
This is either an assembled art project using found materials or an engineering prototype based on alien technology.
While I suspect the former is more likely I’m really, really hoping it’s the latter.
Whatever it is it appears to be a construction consisting of a clock (an old face with battery operated works), a couple of door handles/drawer pulls, a key, a hinge and one chair or bed frame caster.
I’d guess that would make it a hand-held time machine wouldn’t it?
These should probably be purchased for a couple named Cordelia and Blaine or Henrietta and Chalmers (Chalmsy to his friends). Or perhaps for my friends’ upcoming wedding.
This set of ceramic mugs were made for The National Trust in Staffordshire, England. There is a crown and a fan detail inside each mug. His Lordship is slightly cracked.
From the makers of Batholith Buddies we bring you the Ash Cube, Mt. Saint Helens commemorative edition. We have two of these beauties. The good folks at A.S.H. Co. selected the finest ash available especially for your collection of exploded mountains of the Pacific Northwest.
This collectable come with a 32-page book on the eruption.
You will certainly get your money’s worth of euphemisms.
Happy Thanksgiving! Obviously this is a joke and we don’t endorse the consumption of protected species, however tasty they may be.
“For my own part I wish the Bald Eagle had not been chosen the Representative of our Country. He is a Bird of bad moral character. He does not get his Living honestly. You may have seen him perched on some dead Tree near the River, where, too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the Labour of the Fishing Hawk; and when that diligent Bird has at length taken a Fish, and is bearing it to his Nest for the Support of his Mate and young Ones, the Bald Eagle pursues him and takes it from him.
With all this Injustice, he is never in good Case but like those among Men who live by Sharping & Robbing he is generally poor and often very lousy. Besides he is a rank Coward: The little King Bird not bigger than a Sparrow attacks him boldly and drives him out of the District. He is therefore by no means a proper Emblem for the brave and honest Cincinnati of America who have driven all the King birds from our Country…
I am on this account not displeased that the Figure is not known as a Bald Eagle, but looks more like a Turkey. For in Truth the Turkey is in Comparison a much more respectable Bird, and withal a true original Native of America… He is besides, though a little vain & silly, a Bird of Courage, and would not hesitate to attack a Grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade his Farm Yard with a red Coat on.”
The merits of the Bald Eagle vs. the Turkey as national symbols have been debated many many times over the years. I’m not going to cover that ground again.
However, a study of how big dumb birds and congress compare to each other could be instructive.
For example consider the difference between a member of congress and a turkey? A turkey’s favorite past time is to come up with innovative ways to kill themselves, congress comes up with innovative ways to do it to everyone else.
The similarity between congress and the eagle is rather closer, especially if you’re a hard working Fishing Hawk (a.k.a. citizen). Replace Eagle with Congressperson in Franklin’s quote above and you’ll see what I mean.
But enough of that, since this is Thanksgiving we should take the day to appreciate what we have. One of the highest standards of living worldwide, massive amounts of cheap consumer goods, easy and near monopolistic access to the world’s resources and Aunt Edna’s traditional recipe for Roast Bald Eagle.
3/4 cup olive oil
3 tablespoons minced garlic
2 tablespoons chopped fresh rosemary
1 tablespoon chopped fresh basil
1 tablespoon Italian seasoning
1 teaspoon ground black pepper
salt to taste
2 6 pound whole Eagles*
Directions
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C).
In a small bowl, mix the olive oil, garlic, rosemary, basil, Italian seasoning, black pepper and salt. Set aside.
Wash the Eagles inside and out; pat dry. Remove any large fat deposits. Loosen the skin from the breasts. This is done by slowly working your fingers between the breast and the skin. Work it loose to the end of the drumstick, being careful not to tear the skin.
Using your hand, spread a generous amount of the rosemary mixture under the breast skin and down the thigh and leg. Rub the remainder of the rosemary mixture over the outside of the breast. Use toothpicks to seal skin over any exposed breast meat.
Place the Eagles on a rack in a roasting pan. Add about 1/4 inch of water to the bottom of the pan. Roast in the preheated oven about 3 hours, or until the internal temperature of the bird reaches 180 degrees F (80 degrees C).
Remove from oven and let cool for 15 minutes before serving. A properly cooked Eagle should not be quite as greasy as Albatross but not as dry as a Spotted Owl.
*Eagles are large birds but there can be substantial variation in size. Smaller birds are found in the southern states and larger birds in the north, you’ll need to adjust the recipe depending on your location. The average weight of the live bird is 9 to 13 pounds (females tend to be bigger). The dressed weight of wild game is typically 25% less than the weight of the live animal. The wings are long (up to 7 1/2 ft) but have little meat so they can be removed and discarded. Since you’ll be discarding the wings the weight of the eagle before cooking will be as much as 33% greater than when you put it in the pan. Plan accordingly.
If you can’t obtain a fresh eagle we recommend Fish of the Sky brand canned eagle, it’s almost as good as the real thing.
That only means one thing folks: I away from the computer for a few days and need to knock out some posts to keep things lively while I’m gone.
From a strict cost/benefit perspective it’s probably not worth the time it takes to write these up, but such analyses don’t take into account the fun one can have in the process. This is sort of silly as the average American spends almost $2700 each year in the pursuit of happiness, so fun definitely has value.
For example:
Welcome to Douglas, Wyoming; the home of the Jackalope. With a population of just about 5,300 this could qualify as a contemporary souvenir from a small town. However the picture of the Jackalope on the the cup is much more interesting than simple population statistics.
Is the Jackalope feeling amorous? Is it drunk? It is both drunk AND looking to score? Is that a full moon in the background and it is actually a Were-Jackalope?
I have a friend who saw an ethereal white horse one night while drinking heavily and listening to Mario Lanza. In this case it turned out to be a real horse, not a hallucination. This same friend is also a saint (long story, but true). We call him Saint Intemperate but even he has never seen a pink elephant before.
Luckily if one were on a safari in search of pink elephants there is this handy guide. It contains mixing instructions for 200 of the most popular drinks of the early 1950′s. Since 200 beverages would not only get you a rare pink elephant sighting, but would catapult you into the market for a new liver we recommend referring to this text in moderation.
The book is in fair condition with a notable stain on the front cover. This stain also extends four pages in.
This is the first volume, there was a second one published, also containing 200 drinks. This is a small but powerful book, only 4 1/8 by 4 1/4 inches.
You were close though, you missed it by only 361 days (or 343 in the UK*). 3888 plus 361 is 4249. If you divide by 7 then you get 607. The sum of the numbers 6, 0 and 7 is 13.
Another sure sign of how numerology is the devil’s work?
* this curious disparity is a product of how one calculates the day of the surrender of Japan from either the announcement, or the signing of the necessary documents.
The binder contains 8 inch by 10 inch black and white photographs. Each photo shows a graduating ‘class’ of what I presume are sales persons for Swift’s meat products.
The photo’s are dated from April 1946 to April 1950 and there are 46 altogether (spanning 50 classes but 1-4 are missing). The common theme throughout all of them are the advertisements in the background for Swift meat products. I especially like the Its the meat that makes the meal slogan.
Not surprisingly considering the time these were taken almost all the people photographed are male, except for three women in class # 15. Interestingly class 15 was a class for department heads (according to the pen notation) and the three women are named on the back of the picture.
Unfortunately the photos don’t consistently record who is pictured in them. There is also a good array of awkwardness on display and I’m especially fond of the fellow in class #50 who blinked just as the photo was taken. The album is well worth flipping through, if for nothing else than to see the variety of ties and how many of the gent pictured look like petty gangsters. Besides, someone hung onto it for the last 60+ years . . .
Her friends called her Poppie, but the kids in the neighborhood knew to call her Mrs. Fresh, especially if they wanted to get any of her world-famous biscuits. But they knew to say it nicely, not in a ‘fresh’ tone, otherwise they’d get the special garlic and strychnine biscuits. It’d happened before and when the long arm of the law came poking around they just giggled . . .
We’ve just acquired a large collection of dough-collectibles.
I call them doughlectibles.
They’re available NOW in the Garage Sale and the Estate Store, with special pieces coming soon to our ebay store. We’ve chosen to show off this wonderful* little salt and pepper set as a representative of the sorts of things you’ll find. There’s plenty more though.
*Normally I’d see this as a sure sign of the coming of the end of the world, instead of consumerism run amok. However I recently received a much more compelling sign of the end times. More so than even a locust plague or Barry Manilow karaoke.
Late last week I received a solicitation for money from the Dalai Lama and an offer of Happiness Delivered from Harry & David. I think this is a pretty good sign that the world has turned upside down.
Fortunately I’ve realized that somewhere there is someone who’d be very happy to be covered in a horde of grasshoppers while listening to out of tune drunks sing ‘Copacabana‘. I just wonder what they’ll title next year’s Harry & Dalai holiday catalog.
We have two of these very comfortable custom upholstered love seats. They feature a red fabric with woven in floral motifs and prominent leopards. They might be a bit taste-specific for some folks, but the set does declare itself if you’re looking to make a statement with your sitting room.
Each love seat is about five feet long. As much as I’d like to sell them as a pair I’m not sure it is possible so they are available individually.
When I first saw this I thought “That’s one bad-ass citrus reamer!” Then I read the fine print.
This is an antique Columbia Meat Juice Press made by Landers Frary & Clark of New Britain, Connecticut. The idea was that one would put a piece of meat in the press and squeeze the heck out of it, thereby extracting the juice for cooking, or for immediate consumption (the belief being that raw meat juice makes you stronger or something*).
Yummy!
Unfortunately this press was not patented so I can’t directly date it. A very similar press was patented in 1884 and I’ve seen others dated to the 1890′s. This piece is probably a contemporary, so I think it was made somewhere around 1900 plus or minus a decade or so.
Depending if the screw thread is fully extracted or wound down it is 6 1/2 inches to 11 inches tall. There are four pieces (screw, base, upper and lower reamer sections) and all the pieces are in good condition.
One could use it for extracting juices from particularly recalcitrant fruit.
I like the idea of testing it on political figures on TV. It would add a level of gravity to a show called “Meat The Press.”
*Originally promulgated by That which does not kill you et al.
Once upon a time people thought it clever to have rocks as pets. This was in the dark days after the end of the Hippie movement but before the bright light of the Reagan/Bush Era restored hope to the land. It was during that intervening period of desperate polyester clad gyrating darkness, the Disco Era.
We have two of these, with instruction book, carrying boxes and comfortable straw beds.
I suspect someone got two of them to keep them from becoming lonely. I’d advise making sure they are securely in their boxes at night, lest you wind up with an unexpected litter of pebbles.
Before the fad faded three tons of rocks were mined from Rosarita Beach in Baja, Mexico to fill the demand. Pet rocks have become collectible since then, especially the ones that have all their parts (like ours) and didn’t wind up tossed into the back yard.
We’ll sell them separately, but you’ll have to listen to them cry in the night-time.
That’s what Billy Carter did shortly after his brother Jimmy became president. Billy’s preferred beer was actually Pabst Blue Ribbon, but when opportunity knocks you’ve got to answer that hop and barley garlanded door and get the best deal you can. In his case PBR wasn’t ready to throw out the blue ribbon so a fine malted product of the Falls City Beverage Company had to do.
Millions of cans and bottles were sold, proving that sometimes all you need is a clever gimmick and a willing sap to market it. As such these are an interesting item, but not worth what one might hope.
Production of Billy Beer ended with Jimmy Carter’s presidency but it would have been interesting to see what else they could have added if Jimmy had a second term (I vote for a trained spokes-animal, the Billy Bear).
This is a 12 ounce steel can of Billy Beer (4 7/8 inches tall and 2 3/4 inches in diameter). It is an unopened can so you’ll need to be 21 to buy it. If you’re dumb enough to even think of drinking a 30-year old can of crappy beer, you’re on your own.
This can has a pull-tab opening, which if you’re old enough, you’ll remember saving and making into necklaces and other deviant jewelry.
There’s an interesting material culture geek fact about pull tabs too. The ring shape different treatments of the inside and outside surfaces of pull tabs (eg. silver or gold color, shiny or matte finish, etc.) made many of them identifiable to particular brands. This was one of the tools used by early garboligists to identify what brands and how much people were drinking.
They were in rare unanimous agreement that they were happy there was no such animal as the year of the beaver or the fox.
I’ve no idea what these figurines are for, or what they really represent. Maybe they’re instructive figurines for a series titled 101 ways to flatten fauna?
Right now I’m even too lazy to go figure it out so if you’ve got some insight please comment below.
Both figurines are some sort of chalky material, the gentleman sitting on the fish is bigger, about 4 inches wide and 4 1/2 inches tall.
